Memory Gardens: Gardening From the Heart

Having a passion for anything must come from within, and gardening is no exception. Maybe its as simple as wanting to have your yard and home look inviting to guest. Maybe it's your hobby. Or maybe its something deeper. For me, my Memory Garden falls in the last category.

Clematis: Fireworks

While any loss is huge, it was the year I lost three people within a few months that found me seeking a way to process the different aspects of grief.

In November 2003, a dear family friend, who was only in her early fifties, passed away from pancreatic cancer. That following January, came the second blow to my heart, when my grandma, who lived a long and full life, died at 99 years old. Then in March of that year, there was the "much too young and testing of faith" loss. A friend's son of only 16 years, was tragically killed. All of these people touched my heart in so many ways that the loss felt overwhelming.

Garden art can express what's in your heart.

It was that spring that I began my Memory Garden. Knowing that all of these people were together in a better place, surrounds my heart ... still I continued to process it through gardening.

For our family friend, I planted a Clematis called Fireworks. She and our family always had standing date to celebrate the 4th of July! For my Gram, I planted black-eyed Susan's, because I always liked to pick the wild ones for her when I was little. For our friend's son, I planted a Lamb's ear, because he always showed pigs at the Saginaw County Fair. 


Of course, digging, preparing something new, signifies different things, to different people. It can feel like a new beginning to some - planting something small and delicate, and watching it grow. For me it's the feeling of instead of an end to a life, it is the beginning of new life.

When I interviewed gardeners (through a column I wrote for the newspaper years ago), it seemed that no matter how big or how small, a memory garden serves as a special place for reflecting, grieving, and of renewed hope.

As life goes on, so have losses, adding more plants to my Memory Garden. The space is getting tight now, but I am not in any hurry to expand it.
 
So how to begin a process that begins in the heart and flourishes in your Memory Garden? Look in your heart, then try including the following:

• Find plants and garden art, that represent the people (or pets) you have lost. Through their name, interest, feelings, or event you shared.
• Add a cross, an angel, or another spiritual object in the space to offer you hope. 
• Put a bench or rock in the space, to sit, rest, think, and pray upon. 
• Remember it takes three years for plants to really grown strong and mature.
• Then remember to give yourself that time, and more, to grieve.

Find more ideas and suggestions for Memory Garden's here.

Looking for help designing a garden? On the Right Path Gardening offers design services if you live in the Saginaw/Midland and surrounding areas. For more information contact me at ontherightpath@yahoo.com